WHAT HAPPENS AFTER GRADUATION?

It takes three and a half years for us to complete our university degree. Some people take even longer, maybe four or five years! After those years wasted on a piece of meaningless paper that can be used as toilet paper as well, (you may agree to disagree!) Students nowadays are saddled by student loans and debts. 30k is the minimum range.

I have always been a hardworking student. Education is an important component in my life. Remember when our parents (not mine, btw) used to warn us that if we do not study hard and achieve the best results, we'll end up collecting garbage on the street? Well, that's how I emphasise on my education.

I was born in Singapore and Singapore's education system is one of the best in the world. Unfortunately, I was a stupid ass, never cared about my education & even was placed last/second last in class. But... when I moved to Malaysia, I keep my grades up.. didn't know if I became smarter or was just as stupid as I was before (pun intended).

Man... When did life become so freaking hard for us graduates?

Back in the days, during our folk's time, you get a degree, get a job in some fancy banks, get married and have kids -the definition of happily ever after.

What about now?

Having a degree doesn't guarantee anything at all. Wait, having a degree does guarantee something!

It guarantee a huge debt of student loan & unemployment. 

My CGPA is 3.868.

Does it even matter?

During my university years, I was most of the time obsessed with being the best, teacher's pet and all. I was so concerned with having the highest marks in class. I gave the best in my presentations and usually nailed them *blows nails*.

I didn't participate in any co-curricula activities. I was busy working part time & falling in love. The family situation didn't help either.

When I left the university world, I became overwhelmed. Shocked, literally. I said to myself, 'Ok I graduated, I have a first class degree in Psychology, what now? Where do I go? What I do? What do I do?' Even typing this makes me feel panicky.

I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS GONNA DO!

I mean, continue with Masters, duh!

That didnt happen....

Sometimes, (most of the time), I feel so so trapped in this world. In this manipulative world.

You need a job to survive. Once you get a job, you need a house to survive. Once you a house, you need to pay the bills. Once you have a steady income, you can get kids and marry! And the world goes on and on and on. This is what happens endlessly.

I feel so trapped by this system.

DOES everything has to do with money? What if money doesn't exist? Do we live happily ever after then?

I had a job I was not satisfied with. and eventually left. Now I am unemployed, looking for another job & the cycle repeats itself.

I have an impressive resume (i'd like to think so) & I have been called for interview by some big shot companies in Malaysia. But so far, no job offers. It feels as though my shell of confidence that I used to havee alll the time just vanished into thin air.

I don't know why. Maybe I just don't believe in myself anymore.

When I was working at the job I dislike, I found a new passion - business. I started my food business with fadzel. Initially, I wanted to save money to go to umrah as my previous salary was not enough to even start saving.

But then, it was ecstasy. It was like an addiction. You reap what you sow. & I believed in the concept. Even though it was a small scale business, I was so drawn to it. I didnt know it could have that much of an effect to me.

But fadzel didnt agree.

He wanted to live the conventional way with a 9 to 5 job. We argued and fought a lot, it hurts.

I miss my food business. It actually gave me a purpose.

I am still searching for my purpose ....