My Media Master Journey Part 2
Hi guys! I'm back to talk about my media master journey.
So, yeah I've been selected for the programme. My group of six, 4 made it to the final.
This is kind of sad for me to talk about - so yeah excuse my sadness.
So let me explain exactly what this programme is all about.
Alright, so once I got it - during the first week it was literally classroom-based learnings. Trainers who have tons of experience in media planning taught us the stuff that we need to know. This includes programmatic marketing, performance marketing, digital 101, media strategy, euromonitor 101, tools 101, and excel 101.
It was really a great opportunity for self-development. and you know me, I LOVE TO LEARN!
But, the first week was crammed and jammed packed but it was truly the cream of the top!
Then, it started going downhill. . . :(
So for the next 3 months, we were assigned to our mentors, teams and respective agencies.
1. First rotation
My first rotation was Astro Team, Mindshare Malaysia.
I was attached to Ms. A.
Basically, the first day I came she was really not in the mood and time to talk to me and she was kind of busy so I was left kind of alone.
Then, Ms.' A boss came and talked to me. She was like talking for 10 seconds, and not really explaining what the fuck I was supposed to do -- and gave me like some kind of work.
Afterwards, I know that it was audience profiling -,-'
So, I practically tried to learn it on my own. When my mentor came back, I asked her how to do it and she practically didn't teach me, she just asked me back some questions to which I'm blank. I know that she wanted to stimulate my thinking but I seriously did not have the foundation/knowledge to answer her. My mind was blank!
So I kind of suffered a bit there.
The team kept talking in Mandarin and I hated not being able to understand them.
Another assignment was to do a post insight report for Chanel.
I spent 3 weeks doing only the two assignments.
Anyway, I received some bad comments about my Astro assignment. Some of them include:
"Dea expect you buat miracle.."
"You baru lagi, I tak blame you.. I don't think you will be able to do this.."
"3 minggu tak cukup ni nak siapkan.."
"Yelah dea nak test otak kau tu.."
So yeah, my morale was really down. I benci gila buat kerja tu because I didn't have the guidance and I found out later my mentor taught me the wrong way of doing things.
Basically by the end of the 3 weeks I felt really shitty about myself -- also because of an encounter with the HRBP who conveyed the negative feedback about me saying that I was panicky and anxious, all over the place. and a whole lot of other things. Turns out they were scrutinizing everything about me - even the minor details that didn't make sense and I was fucked up with the fucking world!
On the last day, here are the feedback that I received:
Astro - I gave a presentation to the director and a manager - my mentor was not even present at the time. I was feeling really fucked up and I know it wasn't like real good work but I presented it anyway and then the snobby director was tryna give comments and I replied back in defense.
And then she gave comment - oh you are loud and you are defensive, you are rude blah blah blah . Like I care about her criticism.
I was really angry - actually - my voice is really loud and if she spent time with me she would know that. But she didn't and she was really snobby as hell ughhhhh i cannot.
Chanel - turns out I didn't do the correct presentation as the team wanted - you tahu tak, I was only following orders by a senior executive and he looked at my presentation slides and asked me to redo them many times - he was the one who directed me on how to do it and I did as he asked me to. But the team was not happy and once again someone commented 'oh you just want to argue...' hello my hard work?
Yeah, so feeling really shitty after the first rotation . I hated it .
2. Second Rotation
My second rotation was really blissful , I was attached to Team Strategy, basically a support team for all teams .
My mentor was Mr G. He's a filipina and he's really nice except that he didn't teach me that much but paid attention to my emotional needs. Ok, that seems funny but he was really connecting with me at a personal level.
But he didnt give me enough work so my learning curve was kind of stunned. But I did learn a substantial portion though, thanks to him.
He was on my side -- and although he didn't give me work he told the HR that I was hardworking just cause I told him I sold food to university students while working full-time.
That made me realise that perception is greater than reality, at least at this company and turns out HR believed him.
3. Third Rotation
My last rotation was split into two. First, I was attached to Team Social Listening where we would eavesdrop on people's digital conversation and make an analysis, mostly sentiments analysis based on the data. It was okay, kind of boring - lots of spam cleaning and excel work. So yeah, that was just a week and the learning was really valuable.
Next was creative -- where I gave ideas on content and this was really the best part of it all. I learn a few skills here also, mostly on social media and content, but it was fun.
--
Now, my overall reflection.
The first week I was Maryam game strong, i was myself, did what i wanted to do . But the second week I was totally losing control of who I was -- this is because people were judging me harshly even when they don't know me and I, as you know will give people a negative impression if they don't know me. For example , I speak my mind, whatever that comes my mind without sugar-coating anything and I'm loud, I love love to make jokes and laugh, so yeah you get the picture.
So I changed. I became quiet, talked like really slow and lost confidence basically.
I also stopped hanging out with my batch just because they were also giving me these eyeball gazes (hate/contempt/dislike).
Oh and you know what - I sensed that people in the office were bad mouthing me and people were kind of giving me that look....
Strangely enough, I felt really peaceful like I found inner peace just by being with myself.
4. My downfall
The end game was when I gave a final presentation based on a media brief to exco members. I was really nervous, and I know in my heart that my presentation was not good enough. Still below expectation.
The team lead also didn't help at all. But I don't want to talk about that.
By the end of my presentation - the MDs mostly commented about external factors of my presentation such as my voice being too loud, not following the time etc.
So , I know I will not make it to the finish line. And I did not.
It is so fucking ridiculous. It is as though their minds were set on not hiring me.
On my final day of service, this HR guy comes and gave a few feedback about me that he heard from other people - like fuckkkkk
These people are fucking nuts to psychoanalyze every fucking word I said.
For example - I jokingly said to an employee - datang awal esok
And she, this idiot interpreted it as a negative thing.
Benda kecil pun kau nak kecoh???
i am so freaking pissed ! ! !
Come on lah chill tak boleh ke?
Basically what lead to my downfall was that people didn't like me and as a result gave negative feedback about me..
So yeah I m ending my post with the good and bad --
The good
You get to learn a lot
The bad
Some people are really fucked up in their heads and will analyze you even if you try to bond with them. Its hard to find someone who you can trust there and news travel fast. if they don't like you, they simply don't. Office politics is bad.
The only two people I will miss...
So, yeah I've been selected for the programme. My group of six, 4 made it to the final.
This is kind of sad for me to talk about - so yeah excuse my sadness.
So let me explain exactly what this programme is all about.
Media Masters Management Trainee programme is a fast track programme where talents are trained to know the nitty gritty of marketing and advertising for 3 months. This includes trainings and job rotations.
Alright, so once I got it - during the first week it was literally classroom-based learnings. Trainers who have tons of experience in media planning taught us the stuff that we need to know. This includes programmatic marketing, performance marketing, digital 101, media strategy, euromonitor 101, tools 101, and excel 101.
It was really a great opportunity for self-development. and you know me, I LOVE TO LEARN!
But, the first week was crammed and jammed packed but it was truly the cream of the top!
Then, it started going downhill. . . :(
So for the next 3 months, we were assigned to our mentors, teams and respective agencies.
1. First rotation
My first rotation was Astro Team, Mindshare Malaysia.
I was attached to Ms. A.
Basically, the first day I came she was really not in the mood and time to talk to me and she was kind of busy so I was left kind of alone.
Then, Ms.' A boss came and talked to me. She was like talking for 10 seconds, and not really explaining what the fuck I was supposed to do -- and gave me like some kind of work.
Afterwards, I know that it was audience profiling -,-'
So, I practically tried to learn it on my own. When my mentor came back, I asked her how to do it and she practically didn't teach me, she just asked me back some questions to which I'm blank. I know that she wanted to stimulate my thinking but I seriously did not have the foundation/knowledge to answer her. My mind was blank!
So I kind of suffered a bit there.
The team kept talking in Mandarin and I hated not being able to understand them.
Another assignment was to do a post insight report for Chanel.
I spent 3 weeks doing only the two assignments.
Anyway, I received some bad comments about my Astro assignment. Some of them include:
"Dea expect you buat miracle.."
"You baru lagi, I tak blame you.. I don't think you will be able to do this.."
"3 minggu tak cukup ni nak siapkan.."
"Yelah dea nak test otak kau tu.."
So yeah, my morale was really down. I benci gila buat kerja tu because I didn't have the guidance and I found out later my mentor taught me the wrong way of doing things.
Basically by the end of the 3 weeks I felt really shitty about myself -- also because of an encounter with the HRBP who conveyed the negative feedback about me saying that I was panicky and anxious, all over the place. and a whole lot of other things. Turns out they were scrutinizing everything about me - even the minor details that didn't make sense and I was fucked up with the fucking world!
On the last day, here are the feedback that I received:
Astro - I gave a presentation to the director and a manager - my mentor was not even present at the time. I was feeling really fucked up and I know it wasn't like real good work but I presented it anyway and then the snobby director was tryna give comments and I replied back in defense.
And then she gave comment - oh you are loud and you are defensive, you are rude blah blah blah . Like I care about her criticism.
I was really angry - actually - my voice is really loud and if she spent time with me she would know that. But she didn't and she was really snobby as hell ughhhhh i cannot.
Chanel - turns out I didn't do the correct presentation as the team wanted - you tahu tak, I was only following orders by a senior executive and he looked at my presentation slides and asked me to redo them many times - he was the one who directed me on how to do it and I did as he asked me to. But the team was not happy and once again someone commented 'oh you just want to argue...' hello my hard work?
Yeah, so feeling really shitty after the first rotation . I hated it .
2. Second Rotation
My second rotation was really blissful , I was attached to Team Strategy, basically a support team for all teams .
My mentor was Mr G. He's a filipina and he's really nice except that he didn't teach me that much but paid attention to my emotional needs. Ok, that seems funny but he was really connecting with me at a personal level.
But he didnt give me enough work so my learning curve was kind of stunned. But I did learn a substantial portion though, thanks to him.
He was on my side -- and although he didn't give me work he told the HR that I was hardworking just cause I told him I sold food to university students while working full-time.
That made me realise that perception is greater than reality, at least at this company and turns out HR believed him.
3. Third Rotation
My last rotation was split into two. First, I was attached to Team Social Listening where we would eavesdrop on people's digital conversation and make an analysis, mostly sentiments analysis based on the data. It was okay, kind of boring - lots of spam cleaning and excel work. So yeah, that was just a week and the learning was really valuable.
Next was creative -- where I gave ideas on content and this was really the best part of it all. I learn a few skills here also, mostly on social media and content, but it was fun.
--
Now, my overall reflection.
The first week I was Maryam game strong, i was myself, did what i wanted to do . But the second week I was totally losing control of who I was -- this is because people were judging me harshly even when they don't know me and I, as you know will give people a negative impression if they don't know me. For example , I speak my mind, whatever that comes my mind without sugar-coating anything and I'm loud, I love love to make jokes and laugh, so yeah you get the picture.
So I changed. I became quiet, talked like really slow and lost confidence basically.
I also stopped hanging out with my batch just because they were also giving me these eyeball gazes (hate/contempt/dislike).
Oh and you know what - I sensed that people in the office were bad mouthing me and people were kind of giving me that look....
Strangely enough, I felt really peaceful like I found inner peace just by being with myself.
4. My downfall
The end game was when I gave a final presentation based on a media brief to exco members. I was really nervous, and I know in my heart that my presentation was not good enough. Still below expectation.
The team lead also didn't help at all. But I don't want to talk about that.
By the end of my presentation - the MDs mostly commented about external factors of my presentation such as my voice being too loud, not following the time etc.
So , I know I will not make it to the finish line. And I did not.
It is so fucking ridiculous. It is as though their minds were set on not hiring me.
On my final day of service, this HR guy comes and gave a few feedback about me that he heard from other people - like fuckkkkk
These people are fucking nuts to psychoanalyze every fucking word I said.
For example - I jokingly said to an employee - datang awal esok
And she, this idiot interpreted it as a negative thing.
Benda kecil pun kau nak kecoh???
i am so freaking pissed ! ! !
Come on lah chill tak boleh ke?
Basically what lead to my downfall was that people didn't like me and as a result gave negative feedback about me..
So yeah I m ending my post with the good and bad --
The good
You get to learn a lot
The bad
Some people are really fucked up in their heads and will analyze you even if you try to bond with them. Its hard to find someone who you can trust there and news travel fast. if they don't like you, they simply don't. Office politics is bad.
The only two people I will miss...
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