Wide Awake.

1.07 AM. I am wide awake.

And I decided to write out of the blue. Like.. suddenly.. There must be something.

I guess I am tired of keeping things cooped up inside this tiny little heart. 

The mysteries of the heart.. No one could comprehend. Everyone has their secrets. 
Dark dirty secrets that are found buried under those black covers....

My husband and I met in IIUM Gombak. It was a rush of ecstasy. I remember reading once "Love is like being addicted". 

When you're in love, and you scan your brain using a PET SCAN, the pre-frontal cortex would appear all blue... It means there's no brain activity: You can't think properly! And it's really true when they say Love is blind.


To this day, we have been married for 2 months and 1 day:) I'll spare the details of how we ended up together but as Muslims we are subjected to believe in pre-destination that everything happens for a reason. 

In the Quran, there is a verse that sounds like this "You may love something that is bad for you, You may hate something that is good for and Allah knows what you don't"

Anyways, back to him.

It was not love at first sight. I still remember my first impression of him. Never in a 1000 years I
thought I would fall for a guy like him. Looking back, Syukur Alhamdulillah that I did.

Marriage life is not like sunshine and roses. It is a phase that Allah tests you with your own spouse and only the strongest will survive.

To sum up marriage life "I love you . and then I hate you . I want to throw you off a cliff and then rush to the bottom to catch you"

You need to  know that your spouse is not perfect , And there will be flaws. Lots of them! But to me,

Ahmad Fadzel is a perfect man in the most utterly imperfect way you can ever describe. There are some times I feel choked and ask myself "What the hell am  I doing?" and other times "It was all worth it in the end because the one thing that matters is being with him"

Honey, this first post is dedicated to you. I look forward to a life by your side. I love you. 

Remember, home is in your arms always:)




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